The Elegant Cowgirl: My Cousin Passed Away...

I'm not sure what to say or how to say it.

"Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow
of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy
rod and thy staff they comfort me..."
Psalm 23:4

My dear, dear, sweet little cousin Abi(Abigail) passed away yesterday morning at 3:03a.m. She had a terminal illness and we all knew this day would come eventually.

I'm not sure if I've ever told you all, but Abi is one of the little kids that I grew up with. We babysat Abi and her siblings my entire life growing up. As long as I remember, Abi and her siblings were a part of my life. She became more than just a cousin. She was like... almost a sister. In a way.

Abi was sick with mitochondrial disease and there were many times in my life that I thought she would fly up into the arms of our Creator. But, our Lord gave us all the wonderful blessing of 14 1\2 years with sweet little Abi. <3

Now, God took her quietly in the night and she can walk, talk, and sing praises with Grandma.

I knew this day would come. Eventually. But when I woke in the night\early morning and heard my mom crying, I had no idea what the next words I would hear would do to me.
I was very groggy and had no idea what time it was. I remember trying to look at the clock but my eyes were too tired. I heard my mom crying and couldn't figure out what was wrong. Mother and Daddy went into the kitchen and I heard my mom call someone. And oh how those next words I heard came to a shock to me.
"Abi died."
I can't even explain what happened. I felt sick, my stomach hurt and felt empty. My hand flew to my face and I whispered, "No." Then I began to silently cry. For some reason I felt dumb for hearing and I was crying all alone in my room.
I listened to my mom talk, and then I knew she was calling another one of her sisters. I finally decided I needed to get up and tell them I heard. But, I stood in the hallway, blanket around my shoulders silently crying. But then I heard my mom say, "It's going to be really hard on my kids." And then it's like a hiccup emerged and I almost ran into the living room sobbing and explaining that I heard. My dad pulled me into his arms and I sobbed.

We've been spending a lot of time with Clarissa(my aunt; the mama of Abi) and Joey, and the kids. It's been really hard on them. And for us. <3

But we can find comfort in knowing that she is finally healed. She doesn't have to have any more pain. She can walk! Talk! Everything. Jesus is holding her. <3