One Year Since We Said Goodbye

 

*blink blink* 

How? How has it already been an entire year since I said goodbye to my sweet little cousin, Abi? It feels as though it was yesterday that I felt broken and sad. Unsure of how to handle her death, unsure of what my life had in store... 

Now here I am, nearing my eighteenth birthday and SO much has happened since that early July morning. Abigail Rose was taken from this life and joined with the angles July 14th, 2021. I never dreamed I would be where I am today, that morning. The emptiness and brokenness I felt is unexplainable and all I could feel was shock and tears. Not that I was sad she was in Heaven, but sad we had to say goodbye. 

Abi was a huge part of my life growing up as you all know, and her death was a hard one to take in for me. It really shook me. I felt so... broken. But looking back, I can see where God used her death, my grief, to draw me closer to Him and learn that life does have unexpected turns but that doesn't mean He ever forgets about us. I learned a lot since that day. 

Through losing Abi and all that comes with losing someone, I was able to grow and become closer to God. I dove into the Word the morning she died, searching for some form of comfort to clutch to. And I found a place in the Bible that brought me such comfort and now whenever I read it, I think of my sweet Abi and everything that I was feeling...

"And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; And patience, experience; and experience, hope: And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us. For when we were yet without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly. For scarcely for a righteous man will one die: yet peradventure for a good man some would even dare to die. But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." 

Romans 5: 3-8   

I am ever thankful we have a Christ who died for us so that we may live in Heaven with Him one day. I can't even begin to imagine where I'd be without the Hope and Grace of our Lord. <3 I am so thankful that I can have peace in knowing that I will one day see Abi again, and that it isn't truly goodbye but, "till we meet again". 

It's so crazy to think on how much my life has changed since that morning in July. I lost a cousin but was drawn closer to God and my bond with Him grew stronger. 

I feel a lot older than just a year, but I think that's normal when you lose someone. Or maybe that's just me? I just know that there was a time in my life that I thought I could never be happy again, and yet, here I am, one of the happiest girls alive.
God truly is wonderful. He has done so much in my life. So much. Our Lord has blessed me beyond comprehension and all I can do these days is breathe a "wow" and thank Him for all the blessings He has given me. <3  

Abi and Jubal <3

*laughs* That scowl she always had! 

*wants to reach in and hug her*

Matching with my cousin.. <3

I love you Abi <3 

So, even though it was hard to say "goodbye, till we meet again", I can see how God worked in my life and I have grown SO much in this past year. God continues to take care and guide His children and we need never to worry that He has forgotten. He never forgets and He always cares. <3 Turn to Him in the hard times and they won't seem so hard in the long run. <3 

Smile! Jesus loves you and died for you. We can go and live happy and sing His praises. I hope you're having a good day and God bless you. <3 

 

Photo Dump || February

hello lovelies! 

How're you all doing? I am doing much better.
This month of February was... stressful to say the least. No more visits to the hospital (hopefully never ever again) and my hives are completely gone. *thankful sigh* Still not 100% sure what caused me to have such a bad reaction so I'm a bit terrified of eating\drinking some things that I had been before\during my reaction. But hopefully in time we can figure out what caused my reaction.  

I did a lot of drawing this month. 

Hung out with "my kids" a lot this month. (aka, Kate and Gideon) Many snuggles and kisses. 

Ate good food. 

Still have a cough. Not sure why but I'm thinking it's seasonal allergies. (I'm getting quite tired of not being able to eat sugar though...) 

Woke up with hives.. took Benadryl and they went away. After the grogginess wore off we all went to a wedding. 

Had some g.o.r.g.e.o.u.s weather and my bro taught me how to properly shoot a handgun. #awesomeness #mybrotheristhecutestteacher I absolutely loooooooved it and someday I'm gonna own a handgun. *sunglasses* 

Woke up with more hives two days later and.... well this happened. But, during all of that my brother was the cutest thing. I love him. <3 

Slowly started to recover from my hives.. each day was a little better. Took about a week for the grogginess and sleepiness to ware off though and that was annoying. But now I'm fully recovered and so thankful that week (feels like a month) is behind me. 

Babysat Kate on Valentines Day and she was soooo cute! Kept saying cute things and just being adorable. 

Kylie came a visited for a week so that was fun! We went to town and had fun. Ate TacoBell, walked old shops, and had some laughs. 

Was supposed to go to the chiropractor but woke up with snow covering the ground and the roads were complete ice... so that didn't happen. xD 

Painted a (pretty cool I must say) painting of a road with lights!! 

Me, LaKaysha and Daminika all repainted the kitchen and didn't finish till supper time... good times. *winks* 

Did some more painting! 

Dreamed about building a small barn and wrote up some "plans" xD 

Currently reading\read: 

"Love Finds You in Groom Texas" by Janice Hanna 
"Silk" by  Linda Chaikin (really liking this one)

Currently watching\watched: 

"Magnum P.I." 
"Hogan's Heroes" 
"Captain America: The First Avenger" 
"Jurassic World"
"Adam-12"
"Miss Annie Rooney" 
"Psych"

Enjoy the photos! 

Left my hair natural one day *monkey face* I never do that.

Kate- "Me too! Cheeese!"

Damara's puppy. (I did her chores for a bit while they were gone)

Going to a wedding.

Ready to go shoot guns!!

Wearing my cowboy boots cause I love them.

My target... Chancy was all proud of me and said I did extremely well. *sunglasses* 

My favorite chips cause.... why not?

The morning I woke up with hives...

Feeling a little better but had a few hives on my face.

And it only got worse from there....

Frist meal I had eaten all day because I didn't feel good. But my dad brought me some 

BV and I was able to eat that (at 3:00p.m) and then I didn't eat until Wendy's the next day. 

Urgent Care visit...

Next day at the ER... *gag*

It had been like almost 24hrs since I had eaten last.. and it was the first time

 I felt good enough to eat.

Hives on my feet so ice packs to help.. (and my bro carried me into the family room 

so we could watch something together. I love him.)

Frist time (in what felt like yeeeaars) I put on some mascara and combed my hair.

Already reached the 100th day of my last year of school!

First time going out since my reaction.

LaKaysha's birthday!! 

(oh yeah, she had a birthday. didn't mention that before. oops)

Sitting with my bro in the morning. <3

Started to feel a bit like my normal self again! (still taking Benadryl though so I was groggy

from all that)

(she missed me while I was "sick"...)

Kate tells Daminika- "Auntie played a lot with me today. She's all better. She's not sick"

Valentine from my sweet mother!

Writing a blog post about my reaction and needing comfort so I'm wearing

my bro's coat. 

Valentine's Day supper!

It was soooooo good!

Going to town with my girls!

We found "our" sign, lol.

Spoiling my niece... *chuckles*

Wearing Auntie's hat. <3

Having fun doing Kylie's hair.

My dad built me a blanket ladder!!

Texting his girl. <3

Captain America and smoothies. *sunglasses*

(yes minions are in the background but that was a trailer, lol)

She has so much hair so I love doing it, lol.

Delicious supper! (I had waaaay too many helpings of salad, hehe)

"Playing" with Kate.

Lol, okay I had a lot of salad this month.

Having ppl over for a bonfire!

That was sooooo good!

#itsblurryohwell

Dairy free gooooooodness!

Tuck!

Snuggles and school. <3

This girls looooves Lottie

Pasty!

I may have spoiled this girl some and let her in the house to sleep 

while it was freezing outside. 

It was gone by that night but it was pretty and fluffy for a bit!

Changed my shirt cause it was so cold and did my hair.

Pizza after a long day of painting.

And baby snuggles!

Sooooo good!!!

Born three hours apart but on separate days.. these two love each other.

Lol, my dreams... 

I hope you enjoyed!! Have a great day! God bless you! 

And now, we're off today to go visit my aunt and uncle on the other side of the state for the weekend! So see you when I get back! *winks*