One Year Since We Said Goodbye

 

*blink blink* 

How? How has it already been an entire year since I said goodbye to my sweet little cousin, Abi? It feels as though it was yesterday that I felt broken and sad. Unsure of how to handle her death, unsure of what my life had in store... 

Now here I am, nearing my eighteenth birthday and SO much has happened since that early July morning. Abigail Rose was taken from this life and joined with the angles July 14th, 2021. I never dreamed I would be where I am today, that morning. The emptiness and brokenness I felt is unexplainable and all I could feel was shock and tears. Not that I was sad she was in Heaven, but sad we had to say goodbye. 

Abi was a huge part of my life growing up as you all know, and her death was a hard one to take in for me. It really shook me. I felt so... broken. But looking back, I can see where God used her death, my grief, to draw me closer to Him and learn that life does have unexpected turns but that doesn't mean He ever forgets about us. I learned a lot since that day. 

Through losing Abi and all that comes with losing someone, I was able to grow and become closer to God. I dove into the Word the morning she died, searching for some form of comfort to clutch to. And I found a place in the Bible that brought me such comfort and now whenever I read it, I think of my sweet Abi and everything that I was feeling...

"And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; And patience, experience; and experience, hope: And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us. For when we were yet without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly. For scarcely for a righteous man will one die: yet peradventure for a good man some would even dare to die. But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." 

Romans 5: 3-8   

I am ever thankful we have a Christ who died for us so that we may live in Heaven with Him one day. I can't even begin to imagine where I'd be without the Hope and Grace of our Lord. <3 I am so thankful that I can have peace in knowing that I will one day see Abi again, and that it isn't truly goodbye but, "till we meet again". 

It's so crazy to think on how much my life has changed since that morning in July. I lost a cousin but was drawn closer to God and my bond with Him grew stronger. 

I feel a lot older than just a year, but I think that's normal when you lose someone. Or maybe that's just me? I just know that there was a time in my life that I thought I could never be happy again, and yet, here I am, one of the happiest girls alive.
God truly is wonderful. He has done so much in my life. So much. Our Lord has blessed me beyond comprehension and all I can do these days is breathe a "wow" and thank Him for all the blessings He has given me. <3  

Abi and Jubal <3

*laughs* That scowl she always had! 

*wants to reach in and hug her*

Matching with my cousin.. <3

I love you Abi <3 

So, even though it was hard to say "goodbye, till we meet again", I can see how God worked in my life and I have grown SO much in this past year. God continues to take care and guide His children and we need never to worry that He has forgotten. He never forgets and He always cares. <3 Turn to Him in the hard times and they won't seem so hard in the long run. <3 

Smile! Jesus loves you and died for you. We can go and live happy and sing His praises. I hope you're having a good day and God bless you. <3